Complete the things you long to do
Make yourself more of a priority
I came across two builders at the start of December. Both of them were running successful businesses, despite the challenges of the pandemic.
The first builder fulfilled the common stereotype that often gets banded about. You know the one? That builders and decorators are often more focused on their customers’ homes, and so their own homes are a building site, remaining half-finished for years! So, while this first builder was working all hours, putting an extension on someone else’s home, his own home wasn’t in a great state.
The second builders’ home was completed and it was absolutely immaculate. Not only had he completed his building work, it was also beautifully decorated. They also had most of their Christmas decorations up. I was in awe of his stunning home.
What each of them had to say about the state of their homes was interesting. The first builder has had a very difficult last two years, hugely affected by the pandemic, and gave this as the main reason that their own home remained unfinished. Interestingly, the second builder also had a very difficult last two years as well. But he didn’t let this get in the way of completing the building work and decorating.
So, perhaps the reason for the difference between them isn’t circumstances. On the surface, one didn’t seem to have had more to do or more to cope with than another. Perhaps it’s more about setting priorities.
The second builder said, “If I start something, I like to finish it.” He had the attitude of a starter-finisher. He also said, “why should I do great work on someone else’s home and neglect my own?” The second builder valued himself and his family. It was clear that he’d decided that he wasn’t going to put his own wants and needs at the bottom of their priority list. And they they wouldn’t let themselves get continually bumped down the list by prioritising others peoples wants and needs.
The truth is that I can’t really judge the two builders. I don’t know all the circumstances and difficulties that might have impacted on the first builder. I don’t know what motivated the second. But what was clear from talking to them both was that the second builder, who had completed his home, was happier and more settled than the first.
What I have seen from almost a decade as a life coach is that someone who makes a firm decision and a commitment to complete a task, or achieve a goal - no matter what obstacles - stands a better chance of completing it.
And I have also seen that when people truly value themselves, they value their wants and needs. They don’t allow their wants and needs to be deprioritised. They live in balance, by being caring and supportive to others, but also caring for and looking after themselves and those that they love.